I only have two hands

and so every day

I have to decide

what I can carry.

regret

is a waste

of a hand, 

and so is 

anger.

one hand

is almost always 

reserved 

for hope.

(the other holds tight to you.)

-Kristina Mahr 

I have been absent due to the wonderful realization that I was getting better. I was talking to my friends, even joking with this new guy. And then we talked, we called, and we talked. our feelings--true honesty. There is a hope that we work out, I want there to not be, I want to be right, simply and raw, I want to move on to live a new part of my life. Although I think of leaving, I throw up at the thought. I think of him finding out, and I wrinkle at the image. I feel so utterly loved while also feeling so alone, so understood, and so misheard. Motive scares me. Am I a hindrance to my own happiness?

*